It's almost 4am and i've been unable to sleep.
I've notice something. There are a couple people that I'm sort of indifferent to. These people are my friends, but the friendship is not deep, and there isn't a whole lot that I would talk to them about. I'm not happy with this situation, yet I haven't done anything about it. Then there's one person who i utterly dislike. More recently than ever, but it's surprising how quickly your perception of someone changes. What's the purpose of me telling you that there are people that i genuinely dislike? It shows that it's not always easy. Personalities clash - but hopefully i'll make it clear, that you MUST GET OVER IT. (stop being a diva)
but talking about people that i don't like isn't the purpose of this blog.
I've been lying in my bed for the last hour and a half, thinking about the disunity happening at lccf and jaffray. Look, it's not "disunity" in that we can't function and we all hate each other, it's the "disunity" (i'm redefining it) that happens when there are some people who are indifferent to another, or when people just don't talk to each other. It's not very clear, but hopefully it will be in a bit.
I remember one instance with the jaffrays, we were at destiny's one time. And there were two tables. I distinctly noticed who was sitting at which table. There was an obvious clique vibe in the air. I didn't like it. Now, this might not be true, but I like to think of myself as someone who can hang out with anyone and have a good time. But it seems as though not everyone is willing to put themselves out there and get to really know other people - especially the people they've "seen around" for years and years. Now, there isn't anything wrong with "cliques". Because it shows that you have a stronger bond with some people more than others, which is totally fine. My problem, however, is that we're not emulating the Acts 2 church. Sure, I'm sure that people in the church in acts had some friends who were closer and some who were not. That would make complete sense. But in the end, they still saw each others as brothers and sisters. What does that mean? That although they did not necessarily become intimate (not sexually, obviously) with each other, they could easily do that should they feel the need to.
We are not emulating the church as it was meant to be. We are not the church as it was meant to be.
People don't reach out to those they don't talk to. At all. I've noticed this. I, of all people, will confess to this. I haven't been as outgoing as I should be. When I am comfortable in my surroundings, i do not fancy leaving them. But if you look closely, there are people who are on the fringes. They feel okay with us, but they do not feel overly welcomed. And I will repeat: THEY ARE ON THE FRINGES. How? They are either non-christians, or they are professed christians who do not feel completely comfortable with their OWN CHURCH. What is our duty, our purpose, our mission, as Christians? Not to socialize with each other amongst ourselves, but to make disciples, GROW SOME [damn] FRUIT, for heavens' sake.
So back to the story. There were the people who were outgoing, professed Christians sitting at one table (it was 2 round tables, pushed together, btw) while the quiet, (perhaps my perception is skewed, but i think i have some good observational skill) seemingly less secure people were at the other table, conversation almost dead, non existent. If I were a non-christian who sat at the quiet table, I'd probably be turned off FOREVER. it only takes a little bit of perceived rejection and it may be game over. So my question is this: is it a difficult thing to sacrifice 2 hours of stupid talk with "close friends" and instead spend those 2 hours getting to know someone who God has maybe set on your heart?
I have to admit, I've always seen the need for outreach. But not since Urbana have I felt so convicted to do it than when i started blogging 20 minutes ago. Even with all the bible studies that i've lead....the feeling to outreach wasn't OVERWHELMING until i pictured a real scenario where outreach was absolutely necessary. Think about it. 2 hours or eternity?
