today: UBER cold. UBER windy

my id was being a jerk today. here are some things that it had to say:

1) "considering the speed and manner in which you are walking, i would have guessed that you just crapped yourself." (about the guy walking in front of me on the sidewalk)

2) "if i didn't know better, i would've thought that thing on your head was a toupe."

3) "excuse me [to a boy], did you notice before or after you bought them that your uggs have pom-poms on them?"

4) "you're a good-looking guy. you shouldn't have to look for moon rocks in order to get attention."

5) "c'mon kids....MJ in the concourse? i do believe that i've been 'fobbed out' for the rest of the month"

6) "and i thought I was butch..."

thank God for my overcompensating superego. (but sometimes my superego goes cognitively challenged on me.)